Feminism. Art. Porn. Sex.

January 8, 2010, 5:15 pm
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , ,

I have a thousand blog entries swirling around in my head already, but I am going to try to give a brief overview of what this is about, before I delve more deeply.


I was lucky enough to grow up with feminist parents who tried never to treat me differently from  nmy brother. I remember the kids at primary school laughing at me because I used the word “‘sexist” and they didn’t know what that word actually meant, all they heard was “sex”!

I remember disowning the word “feminist” in my mid teens, as I no longer thought it was relevant, then crawling back to feminism in my late teens, as I realised just how relevant it still is.


As I was sick through much of my teenage years, art was something of a salvation and as I got older, I began to deal with sexuality (among other things) in my art. I began to think that art could be porn and fantasise about making pornographic masterpieces someday.


My first experiences with porn were mostly disappointing, sometimes extremely arousing and often quite conflicting. They were also relatively infrequent until I moved away from small town New Zealand in 2006, to somewhat larger Melbourne, Australia.

In early 2009, I started working for “ethical erotica” producers, Feck. This experience has opened my eyes and taught me a lot, if only for working with some very intelligent, strong women. Though no company is perfect, Feck is an oasis in a murky world of repressed sexuality and bad porn and helps solidify my belief that good, ethical porn can be and is being made.


I grew up in a household with reasonably open, healthy attitudes to sex. Though nothing was discussed in great depth, sex was not a dirty, dark, shameful secret.

However, I did not learn to orgasm until I moved away from home at 22. I’ve also only recently begun to explore my repressed BDSM tendencies, as I truly learn to acknowledge my right to pleasure. This is an ongoing journey and it’s getting better all the time. Porn and sex toys are now tools I use in my sex life and as a result, I’m becoming more passionate about the subjects.

Why this blog?

I have been stereotyped as a bra burning, man blaming buzzkill by anti feminists. I’ve also often felt equally unwelcome in certain feminist circles for my love of BDSM and desire to make and consume porn. Yet there is also very little porn out there that I actually think is good.

I often want to speak my opinion, uncertain as I am of my voice.  I hope by writing more often, I will become more confident and assertive in my own beliefs.


13 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Yay for porn, blogs and commenting :)

Comment by Jake

Hey! I’m 18 and female, if you can tell from my name. Hehe, so far I think this blog is pretty cool. I also love pornography and have come to explore my sexuality over the past few months as certain things arose, hehehe. Anyway, I don’t know if this will be any help but I’ve found a couple cool links that you might find interesting. I know I enjoy them.
As for BDSM, do you feel you’re more of a dom, sub or… whatever? Ah, sorry, you probably don’t want to say anything over this. But anyway, I thought I was dom for awhile back a few years ago, then I just kind of forgot about it as sexuality wasn’t a prominent part of my life. Though recently I came to the realization that I’m more (so much more) of a submissive, and a natural one at that. Anyway… argh I’m typing heaps.
Here are some links. :)



The first one has accounts from people into BDSM and I find them nice to read. Well, more than that – you’d have to see. It’s nice… yeah, nice. that’ll work.
Second one, slave duties, is a blog. The Master of this girl owns a website and does documentaries and films real life BDSM couples so I thought you might find this fascinating; I sure did! I really love this blog and find it fascinating to read… there are some neat links on there too. Anyway, check it out.

There’s one called Femdom Cuckoo linked on the blog if you want to check it out; of female domination… anyway, I find this whole area absolutely fascinating and… yeah. Ahh I hope you don’t mind my massive comment! I hope to hear more from you.


Comment by Rhiannon

Hey! Thanks for the comment and links – I shall check them out shortly.

I’m happy to talk about my BDSM interests and tenancies so don’t feel there’s anything you can’t ask.

Generally speaking, I identify as a submissive. However, from time to time a switch in me takes over and then I really want to be in charge. This can last for an hour or for a week and I’m yet to figure out what causes the switch.

My experience and involvement with BDSM is comparatively light. I like to take these things in baby steps, so I can be entirely aware of my comfort levels and only do things when I feel ready and informed.

Mostly, I find the discourse around BDSM fascinating and I’m very much into power play. I intend to blog much more extensively about it once I’ve got into the flow of writing about this stuff!

Thanks again!

Comment by Nio

Yikes, I probably should have commented on the rest of what you wrote. Ah, oops. x3 I think it’s great what you’re doing with this blog, even if I haven’t seen that much. I’m going to check out some of the side links and I think it’s cool you want to make a pornographic masterpiece, I think that would be so amazing… yeah. =D

Comment by Rhiannon

Hey! I for one of many am ridiculously glad you’re writing again. It always seems to be hugely therapeutic for you AND your readers, self being one of those that takes in the therapy gladly. I’ve probably said it before, but I always sensed that a possible reason you get accused of bra burning or whatnot isn’t because you’re ill intended or even especially cocky or confident. The blogs have always shown this timid side of you that stumbles around and gets positively flabbergasted when always ALWAYS trying to defend yourself against what proves to be unsubstantiated ideas that you’ll be attacked left and right for honesty. Now I’ve been in communication with you long enough to have figured out some basics and first I always adore seeing and reading all your works that you care about or just grow from somehow. You tend to be hard on yourself about…a lot more than is deserved for sure. You will always be your worst critic, right? Sometimes it helps to remember that sex isn’t just stomping ground for fairness preaching or whatever. It’s FUN. The most horrid cocky jocks and the sweetest sensitive damsels of our era and upbringing generally won’t deny that it is at least fun for some whether we’re enjoying it or not ourselves. Feminists who are out there truly being models for all are having great times with deep and meaningful relationships… Or sometimes between the soulmate searches, they’re exploring their OWN glorious beauty in the form of hot raunchy fucking or subdued tender intercourse, all of the above and yes please. We are freaking complex in how Many simple pleasures we yearn for. It’s GREAT that they collide and conflict. We want it all. We’re not satiated. We want more. Want some more of what we like and more of what we just fantasize about right now. We don’t need to neglect any of it and need to be sure our partners encourage our full expression of self and seeking out what we really want or need. Even in these fidelity void circles, I see faithful pairs who recognize either that straying with full disclosure is sometimes right or sometimes exploring others together is and lucky pairs sometimes DO find partners that really fit every need and grow and adapt with them HONESTLY rather than just to keep the relationship existing… With that I urge you to google Dan Savage Podcasts for The Stranger here in Seattle. Some of his words are rough to hear. Many are dead on. He’s tough on monogamous couples more than I think is necessary since I know so many really happy lifetime partners. Still… Listen to them ALL. You can even do it at Your work. Just not someone else’s! :)

I love you to bits lady and miss you like crazy. Come to America already. Otherwise I’m taking you around the world so get a shitload of art ready for a tour that I think 25k will be sufficient to haul around…… That’s the preliminary budget at this point though I don’t get the money until we GO ALREADY. Love forever. Lust too. I’ve always crushed on you. It’s not about to stop after some 8+?!! Years adoring you. Yeah we were young. Hell you were still a a bit into pokemon and furries. I remember the drawings way back when. You were home schooling. You’ve since finished college. So much. So so much. 2000ish. Can’t recall unless I see when I posted my hidden deviant art files way back when. . . Ahh I love you. So. Much. Forever babe. Forever. I still btw keep the art you sent and the necklace locked away when I’m away and often on my skin and in my bedroom though I have the shipping bubble envelope as well for safe keeping when I’m away or just living in unpredictable situations like now when I’m longing to be there me and Hannah both. Okay okay too personal maybe. Insight into our past is good blog form :) especially unsolicited!

Forever less than three.
Laura with her lovely Hannah that still looks like a thinner smaller faced Ricky

Comment by Laura in Americker

oh and I never got around to my point ! True Laura style HUZZAH!!

It was about you not actually being sure you’re so called RIGHT as what so many seem to not GET about you is that RATHER THAN BELIEVING YOUR VOICE IS SO MUCH MORE INFORMED OR WISE OR WORTH SOMETHING THAN OTHER PEOPLE’S… You just believe fiercely that EVERY voice is worth hearing but sometimes fight harder than is needed to get your own heard!

Need I remind you?? We’re listening! We have been. Your following is STRONG AND LOYAL. I am proof of the loyal. DA or LJ or sales and the amazing positive response to creative baking incorporated into shows, the works… You’re loved. Really deeply loved. You don’t have to always stomp. Just walk gently and kick the autumn leaves around here and there too. You felt really unheard so long. That was then. You can’t stop working hard but this… Don’t stress out about THIS. You passed the really hard parts of life. You’re doing exactly what you should. You are NOT failing anything but your anxiety level tests. :) Some will ALWAYS confuse your PASSION for BASHING. THAT can be calmed down. I hope you’ll GIVE US A CHANCE TO RESPOND WITH LOVE BEFORE DEFENDING YOURSELF AGAINST HATRED YOU IMPLY WE’LL DISPENSE! I say it as someone who’s proven she’s mad about you. For years I have. I even loved the defensive kid stumbling over words when she got so full of passion it came across as conceited arrogant know-it-all-ness. You and your audience ALL grew since then. You aren’t defending your work to 16 year olds anymore. Your audience is mostly done trolling and saying things reminiscent of Beavis and Butthead, mostly :p The ones who thought you were harsh couldn’t discerne passionate love from passionate hate. The two things are almost identical neurologically and jealousy is a strong area of overlap. You’ll still have jealous ppl wanting what you have, wanting to be what you are. Congratulations. You’re something that I hope young artists ASPIRE to being. All the same, you’re the only critic to worry about listening to too much as YES you’re too tough on yourself and can stand a little less of that loathing that drove you to artwork when you HAD NO OTHER WAY TO COPE WITH UNFAIR ILLNESS AS A KID LIVING A WAY TOO ADULT LIFE AT THE TIME. . . YOU ARE AN ADULT WITH ADULT COPING TECHNIQUES AND SOOO SOOOOO MUCH STRENGTH!! The fight you fought has found a place of peaceful meaningful existence. You have to take much better care of yourself than someone ignorant to bodily ugh. It will likely only make you stronger in the long run. I’m so proud of you every day. I want you to remember that since I’m not there showing you sadly. Never forget where you came from and what you overcame at a young age as I’m certain it happened to ready you for the long and tireless and doesn’t fight fair adulthood. You’ve done an outstanding amount already. You’re so vibrant and have the chance to be an outstanding figure for the causes you care about. You have this darling grace about you that makes you love so deeply and makes your presence nothing short of angelic to many. Carry that with you and keep gracing lives. You’re beautiful and have the most innocent heart of anyone I’ve ever encountered that is older than 5. It’s extraordinary. Some people aren’t here just to live a normal menial human existence though we shouldn’t expect more for ourselves as life is incredible at its most dull, let alone beyond the mediocre wows. You… You’re both gifted as in you HAVE a gift… You have unique ability and insight into how to work mediums into meaningful sensory output for us to use as input to grow and be better… Beyond that, I’ve always felt that spiritually speaking you ARE

Comment by Laura in Americker

well the browser stopped letting me type so I either had to post and reboot or lose it all no no no. To keep it short this last bit… Beyond possessing gifts that are your driving purpose or the tools to achieve your purposes, you ARE a gift of sorts. Much like those incredible flowers that grass gardeners dare call weeds, there’s a simple and pure beauty to you that radiates and that everyone remotely aware can sense. It’s palpable, maybe because it’s so rare anymore as we’re taught to fence ourselves in this falsely secure barrier against other humans and the quite undoubted harm many of them do. Whenever a day seems tough or unfair as many will or just mundane… Please do us, the ones to whom you’re an angel in a godless world, a service by continuing to be around. Your innocence is a kind of purity that doesn’t make you perfect goodness not any more than anyone can be… It doesn’t exclude you from seeking the same human needs and pleasures as others. It just… Your heart is just so undeniably good and compassionate and whole… That those of us so fortunate to have literally been graced by some form of time with you are changed people and changed for the better. Just because you were there when we were. I have zero doubts total strangers are likewise better because your spirit fluttered by them darting around the corner while your mind and body were focused on your outfit and hair. Spirits are stronger than the whole of what experiences we actually are conscious about and truly aware of but they’re critical and yours is intensely strong and able to do more than effort would, beyond staying true and being around us generally, ever really match. That’s sorta comforting. You’re without doubt one of the BEST people I have ever been touched by, the most clear person to trust with a broken heart, shattered soul, and all the million tears my eyes poured onto every inch of my being while you sheltered me just existing at the same time as me with your pure heart of compassion. You will never understand your impact because most will not even really know it was you who pulled them out of a particular hell. They’ll assume a natural passing of pain but I can assure you it’s not all from some ghost. After all… You had no idea what was really gripping hold of all that I once was. You just existed as YOU right when you were the only thing that could have possibly started healing wounds with nothing but being there. The gift you are is more than you’ll ever realize but at least I’m one testimony to jns … An angel for a godless world.

Comment by Laura in Americker

Wow Laura. It’s lovely to hear from you but now I’m left unsure of what to say! Thankyou for the very vocal, very capital letter emphasized support!

As you’re one of the people I have left in my life since way back when… it is cool to have your insight. Though also a little weird to remember that there are people who knew me back when I was drawing Pokemon and furries! Not to hate on the people who still do, of course. Ahem.

By the way, you’re dead on about Dan Savage. I’ve been listening to his podcasts while branding images at work for the last couple of months. Sometimes I want to slap the guy around for being an arrogant prick but more often than not, I tend to agree with his gist and I adore his frankness and willingness to discuss most anything. It’s refreshing and inspiring.

Comment by Nio

one wee link from my inbox today :)


Read it and weep… Sorts ;)

Comment by Laura with cell phone capital LETTERS BIATCH

and yay when it auto-corrects my obviously wrong word SORTA too. And its lack of first sentence caps and all kinds of mobile joy.

Glad you’re still welcoming old farts like me in your hot and busy world!!

Comment by Laura with cell phone capital LETTERS BIATCH

I like the way you describe your porn masterpiece, I definitely would like to see that kind of film.

Comment by Olga Wolstenholme

OMG, I haven’t even read the whole post but had to say I had the exact same experience with being laughed at at school (in grade 3, specifically) for using the word “sexism” because the kids just heard sex. I wonder if that happens to every kid who grows up with feminist parents? :)

Comment by anniceris

Haha, maybe so! Thanks for the comments, by the way!

Comment by Nio

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