I have a thousand blog entries swirling around in my head already, but I am going to try to give a brief overview of what this is about, before I delve more deeply.
I was lucky enough to grow up with feminist parents who tried never to treat me differently from nmy brother. I remember the kids at primary school laughing at me because I used the word “‘sexist” and they didn’t know what that word actually meant, all they heard was “sex”!
I remember disowning the word “feminist” in my mid teens, as I no longer thought it was relevant, then crawling back to feminism in my late teens, as I realised just how relevant it still is.
As I was sick through much of my teenage years, art was something of a salvation and as I got older, I began to deal with sexuality (among other things) in my art. I began to think that art could be porn and fantasise about making pornographic masterpieces someday.
My first experiences with porn were mostly disappointing, sometimes extremely arousing and often quite conflicting. They were also relatively infrequent until I moved away from small town New Zealand in 2006, to somewhat larger Melbourne, Australia.
In early 2009, I started working for “ethical erotica” producers, Feck. This experience has opened my eyes and taught me a lot, if only for working with some very intelligent, strong women. Though no company is perfect, Feck is an oasis in a murky world of repressed sexuality and bad porn and helps solidify my belief that good, ethical porn can be and is being made.
I grew up in a household with reasonably open, healthy attitudes to sex. Though nothing was discussed in great depth, sex was not a dirty, dark, shameful secret.
However, I did not learn to orgasm until I moved away from home at 22. I’ve also only recently begun to explore my repressed BDSM tendencies, as I truly learn to acknowledge my right to pleasure. This is an ongoing journey and it’s getting better all the time. Porn and sex toys are now tools I use in my sex life and as a result, I’m becoming more passionate about the subjects.
Why this blog?
I have been stereotyped as a bra burning, man blaming buzzkill by anti feminists. I’ve also often felt equally unwelcome in certain feminist circles for my love of BDSM and desire to make and consume porn. Yet there is also very little porn out there that I actually think is good.
I often want to speak my opinion, uncertain as I am of my voice. I hope by writing more often, I will become more confident and assertive in my own beliefs.
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