Feminism. Art. Porn. Sex.


BLAH BLAH POLYAMORY BLAH
November 19, 2010, 6:27 pm
Filed under: Sex | Tags: , ,

One of the most common things that people first say when they learn I am in a polyamorous relationship is “I couldn’t do it.” This strikes me as a basically harmless comment, albeit a little amusing – I kind of want to respond “nobody’s asking you to!”

Another reaction, upon learning that my boyfriend is dating my best friend, has been friends asking other mutual friends if they too are going to start dating W. One chum even jokingly asked another if she was planning on joining our “sex clan”!! Ok, I admit that W is absolutely smokin’ hot and totally awesome (objectively speaking and without the slightest bit of bragging!) but he’s not open slather, the man has limits!

So yeah, fairly innocuous comments but I wonder if sometimes they reflect some underlying assumptions about what it is to be polyamorous? To set the record straight… Just because I’m poly, it doesn’t mean I want everyone else to be. It’s just something that works for me. Also, FYI, polyamory doesn’t equal wanting to have sex with everyone and everything. That’s called “my old neighbour’s creepy dog in heat” and even that dog had limits, it had to eat and sleep sometimes.


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13 Comments so far
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I love your little picture. It made me lol. Thank you :)

Comment by Kitty

Aww, thanks lovely!

Comment by Nio

Just tell people your sex life is the same as most other people accept you don’t cheat or lie to each other. It means you don’t get to be on Jerry Springer though. You and Wes would sit on the stage and then your best friend would come out and she’d say (moving her head from side to side) “ME AND WES BEEN CHEATIN ON YOU GIRLFRIEND!!” and then you’d attack her and the stewards would get in and pull you apart with no fear just amusement because it’s 2 women fighting and the whole audience would be laughing. You’d all sit back down and then you’d attack her again :) It’ll be a great show, you should do it :) ha ha

Comment by Jake

I really, really want to be on Jerry Springer now! It would be the most glorious performance art!

Comment by Nio

And Wes would say teh reason he cheated is cos “Yur nevur thur! Yur nevur thur!”

Comment by Hannah

Bwahahahaha! Genius!

Comment by Nio

P.S. you are very good at drawing boobs too! Lovely drawing, naked teachers are the best :)

Comment by Jake

God damn it…Jake has a good point….we’ll never get to wrestle on national TV. Well, there goes that avenue to realising my dreams…wanna take up ultimate cage fighting with me?

Comment by R

So long as we get to wear leopard skin bikinis, I do indeed!

Comment by Nio

Yeah I was hoping to join your sex clan. I hear it contains glitter, which to be honest I’m mostly interested in. I was hoping to be on Jerry Springer at some point also. Jerry would like to be in your sex clan, he’s a man, obviously all the men will want to be in the sex clan so we can just pick willies nilly.

I wonder if there is an assumption here about male sexuality that is at play also.

And I think there may be an element of curiosity and excitement that new and interesting modes of sexuality inspire. It’s just being expressed thoughtlessly as well as being laden with hard to shake prejudices and misconceptions. Kind of like when you tell the wrong person you work in the sex industry and they automatically assume you’re going to lay them, if not now, fairly soon, surely, please, why the hell not? And Wes is hot glitter, when you’re such hot glitter you just gotta roll with the glue. Actually, get the fucking glue gun and shoot glitter into the fucking ignorance, which is kinda what you’re doing Nio, you’re so good at glitter.

Comment by justaperfectday

Haha, first time I read this it was about 2AM and all the glitter stuff was so surreal that I later thought I’d dreamt this comment!

“I wonder if there is an assumption here about male sexuality that is at play also.”

That’s an interesting point. Along that same line of thought – I often wonder if people think we’re poly because of Wes, just as people seem to assume we’re vegetarian because of me.

“And I think there may be an element of curiosity and excitement that new and interesting modes of sexuality inspire. It’s just being expressed thoughtlessly as well as being laden with hard to shake prejudices and misconceptions. Kind of like when you tell the wrong person you work in the sex industry and they automatically assume you’re going to lay them, if not now, fairly soon, surely, please, why the hell not?”

I’m inclined to agree with that.

“And Wes is hot glitter”

I’m even more inclined to agree with that!

Comment by Nio

I think a reason why people feel compelled to comment, “I couldn’t do it” reflects that deep down they really want to, they really wish they could. They definitely have urges for people who aren’t their partners – as is human nature. But they haven’t got to the point you have, they haven’t fought their way up through all the socialised burdens of emotions like guilt and jealousy. So really “I couldn’t do it” means “I wish I could do it, but I haven’t found a way yet.”

Comment by Hannah

You know, I don’t think that had quite occurred to me, that’s a very interesting point…

Comment by Nio




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