Feminism. Art. Porn. Sex.


Trying My Best

This is the demented web series I’ve spent the last three years of my life on! Uh, three years because having a chronic pain condition (thoracic outlet syndrome) does slow down your productivity severely but I am very proud of this show. The web series itself has been called “the love-child of the Mighty Boosh and Look Around You combined with Sesame St on acid” which we we’re pretty pleased about. If you’re into surreal, colourful, dirty and weird comedy like Rick and Morty, Monty Python, Look Around You, The Mighty Boosh, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Flight of the Conchords, The Sarah Silverman Program, Lady Dynamite, The Tom Green Show, Spaced, Green Wing or The Eric Andre Show, you might dig this.

The show slowly builds into something very weird, dark and more complicated than it might originally seem to be so I recommend sticking around for a few episodes, we’ve been told that the payoff at the ending is pretty great.

Still, if you don’t have a lot of time, maybe just check out this part of the show that we took from episode 4 and turned into a music video. I wanted the guys I work with to help me write and make a sex positive, body positive, pop/rap style comedy music video inspired by the likes of Lonely Island, Ylvis, Flight of the Conchords and a bit of Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj but done on a micro-budget. We’re pretty damn pleased with the result!

 

If you dig our stuff, it would be absolutely amazing if you would help us spread the word and reach new audiences so that we can make a season two! There’s a whole lot more story we have left to tell!

 



My Gaze
March 17, 2012, 3:26 am
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Wow, it has been a long time since I’ve done a decent update here. Over a year later, I am still struggling with my RSI and am now resigned to the fact that this is not an injury that heals quickly as there is no exact cure, rather treatment is a gradual process and can take a very long time. Part of learning to properly deal with an injury is to accept it and as part of that acceptance, I have finally started to train myself to use voice dictation software which I am gradually becoming more comfortable with. This blog entry is actually being written in Dragon Dictation so I apologise if the tone is a little strange, I’m still getting used to doing this.

To be honest, my injury has had a hugely negative impact on my self-esteem as I have spent a great deal of time feeling helpless and useless. Unfortunately, my poor self-esteem has also manifested itself in my body image and it’s been a long time since I felt really sexy or attractive. Like most women, my body does not match current ideals of beauty and as such I often struggle to feel comfortable in my own skin at the best of times but lately I just feel… utterly undesirable.

Tonight I was feeling especially bad about myself, my body, everything. Then I remembered something a friend said to me the other night “it’s like the way you see yourself is completely different to how everybody else sees you”. My bad habit is usually to instantly brush off compliments or reassurances from those who care about me, believing them to be saying it just to make me feel better… However, tonight I wondered if I could try to see myself with fresh eyes, less critical eyes and then I thought of my camera.

When I am using my camera, I look at things in a new way and this also applies to my body. I was not happy when I was taking these photos but I felt a sort of intensity viewing them afterwards… an almost erotic appreciation of myself that I have not experienced in a long time. Yes, I still find myself being incredibly critical of my percieved flaws but framed by the camera lens and put into the context of “art”, I can rediscover the beauty in those “imperfections”.

It’s almost 3AM here and I’m having trouble expressing myself in words so I’m simply going to share some of the photos and perhaps they might communicate something of the experience I went through taking them tonight.

Tonight I confronted myself in the mirror and in the camera… Tonight I am realising that I really do need to learn how to be less cruel to myself.

(By the way, in the slideshow the photos seem to be compressed but if you click “permalink” it will take you to a high quality image.)



Self Esteem
October 26, 2011, 12:13 pm
Filed under: Art, Feminism | Tags: , , , ,

Oh hey! So I did a new comic over at sighfive.com called “Self Esteem”. Click the image below to be taken to the entire comic (this is just one panel from a larger comic).



Blue Girl
June 4, 2011, 10:58 pm
Filed under: Art, Porn, Sex | Tags: , ,

Just a quickie done in Artrage, a program I’ve been having fun with recently.



Cornflake Wank and Poetry – Very NSFW
January 3, 2011, 12:07 am
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

This is possibly the most explicit thing I’ve posted here yet and was actually a quick submission I made for a zine.  I don’t know if I really like it but I thought I’d put it out there as this blog is a little inactive while I’m working on stuff for this project and entertaining my mother while she’s visiting from overseas. It’s pretty confronting to put this sort of thing up on the internet for a myriad of reasons – from fear of slut stigma, unwanted creepy attention, to fear of being viewed as “gross” or simply an attention hog. Still, I try never to let those things stop me from doing stuff so here goes.

 

While I’m randomly sharing stuff, here’s a “poem” of sorts that I wrote awhile back about my first (and currently only, though hopefully that won’t be a forever thing!) sexual encounter with another woman.  I am not, by any means, a poet but sometimes I like to play with words and I thought this was… well, not great but OK.  It’s been sitting around on my computer for yonks so I figured I’d finally share it.

Girl/Girl

It’s

pretty seedy
small town
really

her 21st and
this is my first
vodka and coke

now she’s
holding my hair my
head in the toilet

classy

and later

in bed
best friends
I miss him but
I kiss her and

I taste I touch

her soft her curved
her mild wet warm
her open gentle

my drunk

I fall asleep

fuck.

So yeah, I’m pretty lame. Didn’t hold my alcohol well back then and I still don’t now!



Sigh Five

Here’s a brand spanking new project that I’ve been busy working on with my partner…

Sigh Five

Sigh Five will mostly consist of comics, but we have other things planned as well. It’s very exciting, I’ve always wanted to make comics and have decided to dedicate this year to pursuing that dream. I’m not too good at this yet, but I already see myself improving after making only ten short comics.

So head on over to the site and if you like us, leave us some comments and spread the word! It’s not safe for work, by the way, with adult content and juvenile humour.




Little Taiko Boy
December 23, 2010, 9:19 pm
Filed under: Art, Sex | Tags: , , , , ,

Here’s the description from the person who posted the video:

“Little Taiko Boy combines Western holiday traditions, Shinto mythology and Japanese gay culture to advocate a very different way of wrapping gifts for a loved one.

Little Taiko Boy’s soundtrack is a safer-sex parody of the American Christmas carol “The Little Drummer Boy” interspersed with the slow rumble of a traditional Japanese taiko drum that sounds like a massive throbbing heart beat. Against this backdrop, several men meet in Tokyo’s bathhouses, love hotels and cruising spots for intimate encounters, watched over by a glamorous drag version of Amaterasu Omikami, the Shinto goddess of the Sun played by Japanese activist and artist MADAME BONJOUR JOHNJ. Like a queer Santa Claus, the goddess leaves each couple a condom in a bejeweled wrapper as a gift and blessing for the night.”

That video is the coolest thing I’ve seen in ages and I have to admit, I found it incredibly hot. I love that it’s this smart, funny, creative and colourful film that promotes safe sex in a fun and sexy way.



Camera Whore – A Prelude
November 29, 2010, 10:58 pm
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , , ,

About a month back, my partner was away for the night with the lovely R and I was home alone. Though I’m relatively regular in my masturbatory habits, this was the first time in quite a while that I had the house to myself for the entire night and, uh, I wanked for about four hours straight. Towards the end of it, I was incredibly dizzy and my head was pounding. I was sure that if I came again, I might just pass out but I just had to have one… last… orgasm.

So it was 3AM, my room was a mess, my bed was covered in junk and… I squirted all over it. Though I’ve squirted many times before, this time I felt compelled to document the evidence so I grabbed my camera.

I then photographed myself in my dishevelled but still entirely dressed state (by myself, I often masturbate clothed but for my underwear). While doing this, I rediscovered an intimate feeling I’ve not had with the camera for a couple of years as my image making aesthetic has moved towards the more staged and dramatic.

For me, looking at a photo of myself is a world apart from looking at myself in the mirror. In the mirror, I am looking at me. In a photo, I am seeing me as somebody else. This can be confronting and distressing but sometimes it is refreshing, revealing and even erotic.

I wasn’t originally going to post the two photos in this blog entry because they felt a little too intimate, maybe even a bit “gross” for some of my friends to see my wet patch and bedroom hair! But for me there is a common thing which I enjoy in making my art, my porn in my blogging… that is pushing my own boundaries and challenging myself to be as honest as I possibly can. That can actually be really hard and it means putting a lot of stupid crap out there, but I try really hard not to censor myself because I really don’t believe in bottling shit up.

Anyway, all this rambling is actually just a prelude to a bigger blog entry I’m planning about my relationship to the camera and the gaze. That one’s been fermenting in my brain for a few years now, so here’s my official promise to attempt to get it into words as soon as I can.



Babblin bout boobs
October 10, 2010, 6:09 pm
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Sex | Tags: , , ,

These blog entries by Cuntlove’s Olga Wolstenholme, Cleavage at the Work Place and My Cleavage Strikes Again struck a chord with me. I myself lean towards the larger end of the spectrum, boob-wise and at times have been told that my boobs looked too big, that I was revealing too much.

…Too big? Too much? But they’re just BOOBS. You don’t tell somebody their feet are too big and that they’re showing too much toe, damnit! Well, you might say that but it would make you a complete jerk.

But for some reason, boobs are fair game. Not only can friends and family tell a woman that she should be hiding and ashamed of her own body, but it’s completely sanctioned in the workplace. As Olga put it:

“Sexual harassment laws were put into effects to protect people from unwelcomed leers and jeers and whatnot, but from what I understand they extend to protecting people from unwanted sexually charged environments. Well, when someone brings attention to my breasts by commenting on what I wear, even if it’s to tell me I’m showing too much cleavage, it creates a sexually charged atmosphere that I am uncomfortable with.”

I think she makes a point. After all, at least in Western society, we have an extreme obsession with breasts that makes them sexual and obscene even when a woman dares to breastfeed in public. My feeling is that while boobs can be sexual, most of the time (for me) they simply are there. So for someone to comment on them, even simply to say that they’re too exposed is to impose a sexual context onto my boobs when they and I were running in neutral.

Anyway, after waffling on about how we’re too obsessed with breasts, I drew a picture that kinda reveals my own obsession with them, eh heh! ‘Cos, you know, objectively speaking, boobs are still pretty great!

 



Sharing is sexy – round two
September 25, 2010, 1:43 pm
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Gorgeousness from just a perfect day.

How To Respect Sex Workers from Ms. Magazine. This is SUCH a great little article! Interesting comments, too.

Sympathy for the Anti-Porn Feminists by sex positive activist, Clarisse Thorn. It’s a great article and I highly recommend reading it in its entirety. However, here are some bits that stood out for me:

“So how can I have sympathy for anti-porn feminists? Only because I remember how I felt just a few years ago. I remember that I felt so confused about my own sexuality; I remember how resentful I felt, that sex seemed so easy for men — that the world seemed to facilitate their sex drives so thoroughly, particularly by providing all this porn!”

Also:

“Anti-porn activists rely on the societal belief that men’s sexuality is hard to control, scaring us into believing that allowing porn will enable uncontrollable men.”

Teenagers and Pornography – Looking at porn doesn’t have to be a dirty secret by David Heslin. I’ve meant to share this article with y’all for awhile now and the other day I actually met the guy who wrote it, turns out he’s been dating a dear friend of mine! Small world etc etc. I digress, this is an interesting article with some novel ideas:

“Society must, at some stage, accept that not only is there a widespread demand for pornography, but that it also has the potential, in the process of adhering to certain values, to aid healthy adolescent sexual development. It may seem ludicrous to envision government-funded pornography, but there is no reason why such an enlightened initiative would not be theoretically feasible. Through broadcasters such as the ABC, the government already gives funding to comedy, entertainment, current affairs programs and sport; the only reason, it seems, that pornography could not join those ranks is its general lack of perceived legitimacy.”

Senior Citizens and BDSM, a nifty article by Rabbit Write:

“One thing that may benefit older people getting into the BDSM community is that often experience is valued — age can be hot. “I have a number of the younger ones ask me if they could play with me,” Peaches says. “Sometimes you get respect because you’re older and sometimes you get respect because you deserve it.””

What’s it LIKE to be in a D/s relationship? By a very awesome friend of mine. So, what’s it like?

“It’s… secure. It’s very secure. You know where things are. You know the rules, not because they’re built by society and trained into you by magazines and schoolyard gossip, but because you’ve talked about it and figured it out together.”

One in four lap dancers has a degree on the BBC News website. I watched this short little clip and I like how articulate the woman speaking is:

“I think part of the stigma is because there’s a lot of misinformation, a lot of myth about the adult entertainment industry. One of the exciting things about this report is that it’s been ethically carried out and it’s actually asking the women what they feel about their job and why they do their job and one of the most striking things is job satisfaction and of course, the money (…)”

Do women really want male lap dancers? by Ellen Levenson. Mostly, I found the article pretty “meh” but I wanted to link to it just for this one quote that tickled me:

“I do take umbrage at a man, even a psycho-sexual therapist, telling me that he knows what women want. The long-standing theory, that women aren’t turned on visually, feels like something men may have made up to make themselves feel better, telling each other in secret exchanges in changing rooms or masonic temples: “Yes, I’m ugly, smelly and have a small penis but she loves me because I make her laugh and know how to unblock the sink.” “Get a grip,” I want to say. “What we really want is a big, hard …” Alas, this is probably only true when it comes attached to someone who can make us laugh and unblock the sink.”

Cleavage at the Work Place at the awesome Cuntlove blog. I actually intend to expand upon this with some of my own thoughts and experiences at some point, because as a big(ish) boobed women I entirely relate:

“A small chested woman will never be  told that her shirt is too tight or that she shouldn’t wear v-necks or whatever, but I somehow manage to look slutty wearing a t-shirt for crying out loud. It just, well, to be honest, when I was told that I was a good-looking woman, but that my cleavage shouldn’t be so exposed or that it was inappropriate, I felt embarrassed as all hell and suddenly aware of being female and that that was somehow bad.”

And finally, my absolute favourite of the batch…

The It Gets Better Project
, for LGBT teenagers, started by the awesome Dan Savage who I am kind of sort of a huge fan of. Apparently, 9 out of 10 gay teenagers experience bullying and harassment at school, and gay teens are 4 times as more likely to attempt suicide. A lot of these teens live in rural areas where they have no access to LGBT support groups etc. This project basically aims to get the important message out to LGBT teens that it gets better. You can read more about it here, LGBT folks can contribute, and you absolutely have to watch the video below, it is incredibly touching, lovely and almost brought tears to my eyes because I’m a big sooky crybaby.



Ultra Violet
September 24, 2010, 6:09 pm
Filed under: Art, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , ,

Just playing around with more comic book character designs and colouring styles. There’s a few things about this picture that annoy me (including her confusing sex toy – what is it exactly?!) but I’m sick of it so… meh. I like the colours, they make my eyeballs vibrate. Also, I’m no longer hosting my pictures on WordPress as the ones I posted earlier have been compressed horribly.



Pink Bits
September 4, 2010, 6:44 pm
Filed under: Art, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , ,

Here’s another character concept design for that erotic comic series I might someday create. To be honest, I don’t actually spend any time “designing” the characters as such, I just draw them as they come out of my head. Suggestions are always welcome, though please note that I want the brightly coloured genitals to be sort of disconcerting… maybe they’re too disconcerting? This also made me aware of just how bad I am at drawing male bodied characters. I’m going to have to practice this some more which is entirely fine by me!

Also, is it just me or does wordpress compress the heck out of jpgs?



Bold Bright Woman
September 3, 2010, 4:57 pm
Filed under: Art, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , ,

I have been fantasising about doing my own erotic comic series for several years now but the task always seems daunting as all hell and I never seem to have time. But today I thought if I just start small and wasn’t perfectionist – with character concept designs, perhaps mini comics later down the track, the practice and designing will help give me the confidence and skills to make my dreams reality someday. So here’s the first character concept sketch I did today, feedback is very welcome. Can you tell I was born in the eighties and grew up reading comic books?


I have notions of intense colours and bold lines in an erotic, unconventional, kitsch, gender bending, sci-fi, fantasy adventure. My heroes would be sexy, strong and fabulous. One can dream.



Public Pubic
September 3, 2010, 11:58 am
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , ,

I don’t shave “down there”. I did once, for a couple of months in 2007, it was fun to have a change. However, despite my best efforts and care, my skin was simply too soft and sensitive. Shaving rash and ingrown hairs were a constant battle and the stubble I always had by the second day seemed harsh and unattractive to me. Waxing doesn’t interest me, so I decided to go back to being natural. Luckily, I like a bit of fluff with my muff.

That said, I am sick to death of the “hair or no hair” debate. I’ve heard a lot of people on one side say that pubic hair is disgusting and unattractive, I’ve heard people on the other side say that without pubic hair, one looks prepubescent.

They’re both ridiculous arguments, positing personal preference as fact. It’s not fact. Some people like it with, some people like it without. Neither way is “disgusting” or “wrong”, it’s just fashion, it’s just what people are used to, it’s just individual taste. Why is that so hard for people to understand?

If I have yet another woman advise me that I should shave for the sake of my boyfriend (um, thanks, he actually likes me this way) or if I hear another person exclaim “Women should never shave! Why do they want to look like 9 year old girls?” I will scream and explode in a fiery ball of annoyance.

Seriously, can we stop this ridiculous war of the genitals that turns our personal grooming habits into a moral decision that may just cause the downfall of mankind? Please?

Oh yeah, and I wish we’d stop referring to women who don’t shave in porn as “hairy”. It makes them sound like werewolves.



Nio got interviewed
August 18, 2010, 10:25 pm
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , ,

So I got interviewed by the totally awesome Gore-Gore Girl. She asked some really great questions and told me that I could write as much as I liked – which, considering I’m not very succinct at the best of times, was very brave of her indeed!

So go check it out, and your feedback on my thoughts would be very much welcome there (Oh please oh please!) Though I must admit I worried a whole lot about sounding like a self-important twit, overall it was a whole lot of fun and really helped me get a little bit of a clearer picture in my head in regards to what this blog’s all about, woooo!