Filed under: Feminism, Sex | Tags: authenticity, female sexuality, Feminism, respect, sex and culture, sexuality, slut shaming, sluts, women
I just wanted to share a quote from an awesome article that you should totally read.
“Anytime we equate fewer sex partners or monogamy or any “vanilla” sexual practice with being more respectable, we reinforce the idea that the people whose sexual desires are outside those boundaries have to trade their sexual authenticity in order to be accepted. I would much rather choose who to respect based on how they treat themselves and other people, which certainly doesn’t have to correlate with the kinds of sex or how many partners they have.”
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: camera, female body, nude, photography, self esteem, self image, self portraiture, sexuality
Wow, it has been a long time since I’ve done a decent update here. Over a year later, I am still struggling with my RSI and am now resigned to the fact that this is not an injury that heals quickly as there is no exact cure, rather treatment is a gradual process and can take a very long time. Part of learning to properly deal with an injury is to accept it and as part of that acceptance, I have finally started to train myself to use voice dictation software which I am gradually becoming more comfortable with. This blog entry is actually being written in Dragon Dictation so I apologise if the tone is a little strange, I’m still getting used to doing this.
To be honest, my injury has had a hugely negative impact on my self-esteem as I have spent a great deal of time feeling helpless and useless. Unfortunately, my poor self-esteem has also manifested itself in my body image and it’s been a long time since I felt really sexy or attractive. Like most women, my body does not match current ideals of beauty and as such I often struggle to feel comfortable in my own skin at the best of times but lately I just feel… utterly undesirable.
Tonight I was feeling especially bad about myself, my body, everything. Then I remembered something a friend said to me the other night “it’s like the way you see yourself is completely different to how everybody else sees you”. My bad habit is usually to instantly brush off compliments or reassurances from those who care about me, believing them to be saying it just to make me feel better… However, tonight I wondered if I could try to see myself with fresh eyes, less critical eyes and then I thought of my camera.
When I am using my camera, I look at things in a new way and this also applies to my body. I was not happy when I was taking these photos but I felt a sort of intensity viewing them afterwards… an almost erotic appreciation of myself that I have not experienced in a long time. Yes, I still find myself being incredibly critical of my percieved flaws but framed by the camera lens and put into the context of “art”, I can rediscover the beauty in those “imperfections”.
It’s almost 3AM here and I’m having trouble expressing myself in words so I’m simply going to share some of the photos and perhaps they might communicate something of the experience I went through taking them tonight.
Tonight I confronted myself in the mirror and in the camera… Tonight I am realising that I really do need to learn how to be less cruel to myself.
(By the way, in the slideshow the photos seem to be compressed but if you click “permalink” it will take you to a high quality image.)
Filed under: Art, Feminism | Tags: comic, Feminism, feminist comic, self esteem, webcomic
Oh hey! So I did a new comic over at sighfive.com called “Self Esteem”. Click the image below to be taken to the entire comic (this is just one panel from a larger comic).
Filed under: Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: Feminism, Porn, Sex, sex positive feminism, sexiness
Most critics of sex-positive feminism have not bothered to figure out what sex-positivity is.
It’s not the giggling, hair-twirling exclamation of “it’s feminist to be sexayyy!” It’s really not. I’m not going to defend that strawman. (I also think it’s funny how often I get accused of being a Hooters-girl-bot, when I’m about the least Hooters-looking-person ever.)
Nor is it the demand that everyone be sexy or have sex. Nor is it the claim that everything that involves sex is beyond criticism. Nor is it the suggestion that sex will fix all the problems of feminism.
Instead, sex-positivity is the belief that sex and sexiness are… okay. It’s the belief that people shouldn’t be judged by the sex they have. It’s the belief that consent matters and social norms do not. It’s the belief that porn and erotica are valid media of expression (not that the current porn industry is hunky-dory, cause it’s not) and that sex work ought to be just work (not that it currently is). It’s the belief that neither “slut” nor “prude” should be an insult. It’s the belief that every sexual and gender identity is valid.
Sex-positivity is, in a nutshell, the belief in sexual freedom as a key component of women’s freedom and of having a better world in general.
If you want to argue with that belief, we can talk. But if you want to argue with “everyone should be a Hooters girl because showing men your boobies is like totally the most feministical choice!” you’re not really arguing with me. I just think that I’m in no position to judge Hooters girls or assume that they’re dimwits, sexists, or helpless victims because of what they do for a living.
Read the entire article here.
Because I’m still struggling with my RSI and cannot write much, I really like some of the stuff on The Pervocracy blog because her opinions are often reasonably similar to mine.
Filed under: Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: agency, Melbourne, sex industry, sex work
If you’re based in Melbourne, come along tomorrow and see this free seminar. A very good friend of mine will be talking at it so I know it’s gonna be great!
Filed under: Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: red umbrella diaries, Sex, sex work, sex worker manifesto, sex worker rights
Really fascinating and well worth a listen. I really enjoy the whole Red Umbrella Diaries podcast series, a whole lot of stories from sex workers from many different walks in life.
Here are two great articles:
Thanks to subtlecluster for making me aware of these articles and for their succinct explanation of them.
“read them. not that i agree 100% with all therein, but they’re important pieces.
some insight into why people in marginalized groups might not want to hold your hand, be nice, coddle you, and educate you about all the ways in which they are fucked over when you make an insensitive comment, hold a fucked up view, or whatever.
hint: sometimes WE ARE JUST FUCKING TIRED OF DEALING WITH THAT SHIT CONSTANTLY.”