Feminism. Art. Porn. Sex.


Trying My Best

This is the demented web series I’ve spent the last three years of my life on! Uh, three years because having a chronic pain condition (thoracic outlet syndrome) does slow down your productivity severely but I am very proud of this show. The web series itself has been called “the love-child of the Mighty Boosh and Look Around You combined with Sesame St on acid” which we we’re pretty pleased about. If you’re into surreal, colourful, dirty and weird comedy like Rick and Morty, Monty Python, Look Around You, The Mighty Boosh, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Flight of the Conchords, The Sarah Silverman Program, Lady Dynamite, The Tom Green Show, Spaced, Green Wing or The Eric Andre Show, you might dig this.

The show slowly builds into something very weird, dark and more complicated than it might originally seem to be so I recommend sticking around for a few episodes, we’ve been told that the payoff at the ending is pretty great.

Still, if you don’t have a lot of time, maybe just check out this part of the show that we took from episode 4 and turned into a music video. I wanted the guys I work with to help me write and make a sex positive, body positive, pop/rap style comedy music video inspired by the likes of Lonely Island, Ylvis, Flight of the Conchords and a bit of Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj but done on a micro-budget. We’re pretty damn pleased with the result!

 

If you dig our stuff, it would be absolutely amazing if you would help us spread the word and reach new audiences so that we can make a season two! There’s a whole lot more story we have left to tell!

 



Gentleman Handling

Here’s a new, very beautiful and very sexy website that I’m incredibly excited to tell you about! It’s the first commercial venture from Sensate Films, a new erotica production company which has been put together by two incredible ladies who I am privileged to be friends with, Aven Frey and Gala Vanting.

The website is gentlemanhandling.com

“What we’ve made here, really, is a lovely place to watch moving images of male masturbation. GentlemanHandling attempts to strip the image of male sexual pleasure from its less-than-savoury pornographic contexts and situate it in a style of imagemaking that is honest, attentive, and reverent. In our years of experience in the pornosphere, we’ve found that men have just as much to lose as other genders from the dishonesty and superficiality of mass-produced sexual imagery. So we’ve taken up the project of presenting our contributors in a manner that highlights their human-ness, their individual sexual style. Self-pleasure is a deeply personal thing and is often glossed over or neglected in mainstream sexual media. We’re trying to take steps to change that.” ~ http://gentlemanhandling.com/public/main.php?page=about

As someone who has seen many of the films produced for the website (fuck yeah sneak previews!), I can say in all honestly that they are beautifully filmed, sensitively edited,  incredibly gorgeous, raw, powerful and most importantly, intensely sexy. Gala and Aven also have a talent for finding immensely attractive but diverse men who all have a real presence in front of the camera and seem really comfortable in their skin and sexuality.

I truly believe that this project is onto a very, very good thing. Watching these beautiful men indulging in self pleasure, seeing their face as they get lost in their own senses… well, for me it was as good as looking at a beautiful painting – a beautiful painting that made me need to take a cold shower afterwards. There were moments during some of the films when I gasped, there were moments when I felt my face getting hot, there were moments when I even felt a little sad because male sexuality is every bit as rich, varied, beautiful and sexy as its female equivalent but it has been neglected for so long, considered crude, ugly, base.

Gentleman Handling gives male sexuality the attention and respect it deserves. So fuck yeah to that!

Go check the website out, watch the preview video I posted at the top of this entry, subscribe if you want to see beautiful men masturbate and spread the word if you want to support new, ground-breaking, beautiful and ethical porn. Seriously, they only just released the website so you get to say “Oh yeah, I knew about that before it was famous!”



Respecting Sluts

I just wanted to share a quote from an awesome article that you should totally read.

“Anytime we equate fewer sex partners or monogamy or any “vanilla” sexual practice with being more respectable, we reinforce the idea that the people whose sexual desires are outside those boundaries have to trade their sexual authenticity in order to be accepted. I would much rather choose who to respect based on how they treat themselves and other people, which certainly doesn’t have to correlate with the kinds of sex or how many partners they have.”

~ If You Don’t Respect Sluts, You Don’t Respect Women. 



My Gaze
March 17, 2012, 3:26 am
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Wow, it has been a long time since I’ve done a decent update here. Over a year later, I am still struggling with my RSI and am now resigned to the fact that this is not an injury that heals quickly as there is no exact cure, rather treatment is a gradual process and can take a very long time. Part of learning to properly deal with an injury is to accept it and as part of that acceptance, I have finally started to train myself to use voice dictation software which I am gradually becoming more comfortable with. This blog entry is actually being written in Dragon Dictation so I apologise if the tone is a little strange, I’m still getting used to doing this.

To be honest, my injury has had a hugely negative impact on my self-esteem as I have spent a great deal of time feeling helpless and useless. Unfortunately, my poor self-esteem has also manifested itself in my body image and it’s been a long time since I felt really sexy or attractive. Like most women, my body does not match current ideals of beauty and as such I often struggle to feel comfortable in my own skin at the best of times but lately I just feel… utterly undesirable.

Tonight I was feeling especially bad about myself, my body, everything. Then I remembered something a friend said to me the other night “it’s like the way you see yourself is completely different to how everybody else sees you”. My bad habit is usually to instantly brush off compliments or reassurances from those who care about me, believing them to be saying it just to make me feel better… However, tonight I wondered if I could try to see myself with fresh eyes, less critical eyes and then I thought of my camera.

When I am using my camera, I look at things in a new way and this also applies to my body. I was not happy when I was taking these photos but I felt a sort of intensity viewing them afterwards… an almost erotic appreciation of myself that I have not experienced in a long time. Yes, I still find myself being incredibly critical of my percieved flaws but framed by the camera lens and put into the context of “art”, I can rediscover the beauty in those “imperfections”.

It’s almost 3AM here and I’m having trouble expressing myself in words so I’m simply going to share some of the photos and perhaps they might communicate something of the experience I went through taking them tonight.

Tonight I confronted myself in the mirror and in the camera… Tonight I am realising that I really do need to learn how to be less cruel to myself.

(By the way, in the slideshow the photos seem to be compressed but if you click “permalink” it will take you to a high quality image.)



The Pervocracy – Sex Pozzie
October 26, 2011, 10:20 am
Filed under: Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , ,

Most critics of sex-positive feminism have not bothered to figure out what sex-positivity is.

It’s not the giggling, hair-twirling exclamation of “it’s feminist to be sexayyy!”  It’s really not.  I’m not going to defend that strawman.  (I also think it’s funny how often I get accused of being a Hooters-girl-bot, when I’m about the least Hooters-looking-person ever.)

Nor is it the demand that everyone be sexy or have sex.  Nor is it the claim that everything that involves sex is beyond criticism.  Nor is it the suggestion that sex will fix all the problems of feminism.

Instead, sex-positivity is the belief that sex and sexiness are… okay.  It’s the belief that people shouldn’t be judged by the sex they have.  It’s the belief that consent matters and social norms do not.  It’s the belief that porn and erotica are valid media of expression (not that the current porn industry is hunky-dory, cause it’s not) and that sex work ought to be just work (not that it currently is).  It’s the belief that neither “slut” nor “prude” should be an insult.  It’s the belief that every sexual and gender identity is valid.

Sex-positivity is, in a nutshell, the belief in sexual freedom as a key component of women’s freedom and of having a better world in general.

If you want to argue with that belief, we can talk.  But if you want to argue with “everyone should be a Hooters girl because showing men your boobies is like totally the most feministical choice!” you’re not really arguing with me.  I just think that I’m in no position to judge Hooters girls or assume that they’re dimwits, sexists, or helpless victims because of what they do for a living.

Read the entire article here. 

Because I’m still struggling with my RSI and cannot write much, I really like some of the stuff on The Pervocracy blog because her opinions are often reasonably similar to mine.



Dirty Deeds Sexuality and Agency in Commodity Culture
September 20, 2011, 1:42 pm
Filed under: Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , ,

If you’re based in Melbourne, come along tomorrow and see this free seminar. A very good friend of mine will be talking at it so I know it’s gonna be great!



Next Wave, A Sex Worker Manifesto
September 2, 2011, 2:50 pm
Filed under: Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , ,

Annabelle Xaah – Next Wave, A Sex Worker Manifesto.

Really fascinating and well worth a listen. I really enjoy the whole Red Umbrella Diaries podcast series, a whole lot of stories from sex workers from many different walks in life.



Guest Post: Sex worker Verses Pro Domme: “She’s just a hooker with a Whip”
June 13, 2011, 10:35 pm
Filed under: Feminism, Sex | Tags: , , , , , ,

A friend of mine and woman who I admire very much, Mistress Avika, wrote an article recently that I really enjoyed and asked if I could repost here. She was generous enough to oblige and so you’re lucky enough to be able to hear her intelligent, informed and interesting point of view.

Sex worker Verses Pro Domme: “She’s just a hooker with a Whip”
By Mistress Avika. 

Sex is a touchy subject around professional Dominas, Mistresses and ‘old school’ slaves. It is frequently said that  Mistresses who have sex with their slaves, bottoms, subs or erotic adventurers are not real Dommes. That a woman who does that is “just a hooker with a whip” and can’t possibly also deeply understand other reasons for engaging in BDSM. I disagree.

This issue arises from a complex set of ideas and opinions that has its basis in some real and valid ideas as well as some outdated sexism and sex negative prejudice. I seek ways to honor the valid reasons at the same time recognise and address the limiting and unhelpful aspects of the anti-sex and anti sex worker attitude.

There are many different states of consciousness, states of embodied pleasure, release and sensation that are possible. Different techniques and intentions result in different results. One is not inherently more valuable than any other. It all depends on what you want to experience.

For folk right into our BDSM(Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) fetishes and D/s (Dominant/Submissive) explorations, the goal of our activities is often a particular state of consciousness called subspace and/or topspace. These forms of play can be about eroticism but it is not necessarily about overt eroticism and might not be about eroticism at all. The focus is in the state of consciousness that can be achieved through these activities and exploration of the pleasure, intensity, transformation, deep peace, trust, intimacy and plain old fun these states can evoke.

Traditional, penetrative sex could in fact hinder the person attempting to access these particular mind /body states of being because it releases different chemicals in the body, guides the mind down a different route to a different destination and if ejaculation is involved, can cut short the powerful journey created by all the other activities. For many people, cumming breaks the spell of subspace /top space.

BDSMers, fetishists and power exchange players (here on shortened to the umbrella term “kinksters”) have traditionally faced a lot of prejudice and misunderstanding throughout history. When outsiders come along, they frequently think we are sick and misunderstand what it is we are trying to achieve with these seemingly perverted and extreme activities. On the other extreme outsiders become fascinated and want to join in. Initially they assume it is all about traditional sex and “horniness” and have never in considered the other possible reasons for engaging in these activities. This can be a source of frustration to kinksters because these new comers are often pulling in a different direction to us and making all sorts of false assumptions about what is on offer.

As a pro Domme I am flooded with enquiries that misunderstand the intent of what I am offering and assume that it is all about “kinky sex”. It would be easy for me to become frustrated and put those people down for “not getting it” but really, what is actually wrong with enjoying, actively exploring and delighting in “kinky sex”? I sure like it! It’s just another option on the menu for me to explore, savour and revel in. Some folk that initially come to me for Kinky sex, end up exploring other states they didn’t know existed and therefore could never have asked for. Others remain delighted to explore all the kinds of forbidden sex they have never had an opportunity to experience with anyone else.

I believe that a lot of the tension between those into kinky sex and those into exploring subspace/topspace for its own sake, is based on constant misunderstanding of the intent of what one is trying to achieve. The reason people engage in kinky sex is different to the reason that kinksters engage in BDSM for its own sake. If you use certain tools or activities and have certain intents, you get one kind of mind/body result. If you use another set of tools, activities and intents, you get a different mind/body result. One is not inherently more valuable or “better” than the other. Both are different options and both are valid in their own right. Not just valid, but deeply pleasurable and rich sources of ecstatic living.

It is not useful when exploring a sex positive, femme-empowered place to assume that all sex workers are victims that don’t enjoy what they do and are inherently degraded because they have sex for money with clients. Sex work may not be something that you could or should do but that does not mean all of us are wired the same as you. No doubt there are as many opinions on this topic are there are people so I shall just stick to my perspective.

I do many different things. I am a pro Domme who guides people into a variety of different states of consciousness in body and mind. Some are overtly erotic and others ecstatic… still others are a deep quieting of the mind… others intense adrenalin pumping highs… or about transformation and self discovery… some about submission… some about “getting off”… because guess what! “Getting off” is FUN! This idea that getting off is not as noble a goal as the others is based in an assumption that pleasure and play for delights sake is somehow wrong, less valuable than “serious” intents and adds to the cycle of sex-shame our culture has nursed for millennia.

I’ve had enough shame about sex drilled into me from an uber religious upbringing, anti sex feminists, cultural fear of sexually powerful women and dominant ideas about how sex work is inherently degrading to women. Indeed how sex itself is inherently degrading to women and just the act of engaging in sex means the woman is being submissive. After all, only men want sex right? Women like it when they are in the “honeymoon” period of a romantic relationship but that wears off right? Then women use it to “get stuff” like a nice house, their way in an argument or a new perfume… The worst of these are sex workers who clearly only do it to get money… it is just assumed that men want sex more than women do and to “give it to him” is about his pleasure, not hers. Especially if it is particularly dirty sex. Oh and then there are the positions women naturally get in for sex… Unless she is on top, those positions are inherently submissive right?

I can’t speak for other women but when I close my eyes and search deep into my body and mind, strip back cultural expectations, assumptions and politics to search my authentic being for answers, I find that I feel very powerful when engaging in sex of all kinds. I love what I do. I love being a sex worker, a teacher of the erotic arts who guides people into deeper relationships with their shame-free ability to experience limitless erotic pleasure… I also love my work as a pro Domme who facilitates journeys into submission and other kinky altered states. I also really love having good old fashioned sexy fun with open minded, respectful clients. Fun for fun’s sake rocks my boat too. I do not value one path over the other.

The key is to be very clear about what it is that each client is trying to achieve and what I want to achieve with each client. I choose the tools, activities and intents together with the client in order to best achieve the desired outcome based on their particular wiring and our combined dynamic. I do not engage in activities I do not want to. If I feel inside myself and it feels wrong, I don’t do it. If a client is not respectful, I do not offer them a session. I do not accept every client that asks me for a session. I ensure that we are matched first. Otherwise I recommend another professional who they may be more suited to skills, goals and personality-wise.

Working this way has lead me to develop some intense and mutually beneficial professional relationships with clients that have opened and changed us both. I cannot tell you how incredibly delicious it is to be part of someone’s erotic and/or BDSM journey. That moment when someone slips into a new state of being that rises from deep within their authenticity through a session I have created for them… OH. MY. GODDESS! I cannot imagine a more rewarding way to spend my time on this planet. (Of course as part of my “work” I constantly explore my own ability for erotic and ecstatic pleasure… oh poor me! Such a victim!)

As a professional, I am not replacing the intimacy of a romantic relationship. That is not my role. My role is to explore, teach and facilitate certain experiences utalising my highly trained skillset. The result is different to that of the kinds of play I engage in with a romantic partner and for me, one is not a threat to the other. For me, engaging in sex outside of fluid bonded, romantic, intimacy does not take from the sex in my romantic relationships at all. In fact, it really adds to it because having a career and spiritual path dedicated to erotic exploration means I constantly feed the fires of my eroticism and do not suffer from “bed death” after the honeymoon period has finished. The way I engage in sex work is not damaging or degrading to me or my personal relationships.

To summerise: Whether our goal is to explore sub/top space or other states of consciousness for its own sake, to revel in the pleasure of kinky sex, to explore transformation, dirty horny deliciousness , intensity, submission or spiritual connection it’s all valid. We just need to be clear about our intent and use the right tools to achieve our goal. Not every professional wants to explore all these different modes. Many specialise in the none sexual sessions and that is fine. Each person has to do what is right for them and honor the way they are wired. This does not mean that someone who is a pro Domme and a kinky sex worker is not a “real” Domme. Putting one form of exploration on a pedastool over another is just another form of prejudice. Instead I invite us to value all the paths possible and consciously choose which person is right to explore our unique wiring with based on compatibility of intent, skill level and repoire. There is no such things as a “real” Domme. It is just a matter of whether or not the professional you seek understands and can cater to your particular aims for a session. Every kind of Domme is perfect for someone.



Blue Girl
June 4, 2011, 10:58 pm
Filed under: Art, Porn, Sex | Tags: , ,

Just a quickie done in Artrage, a program I’ve been having fun with recently.



Piss
May 19, 2011, 1:29 pm
Filed under: Feminism, Sex | Tags: , , , ,

I found this thanks to Beautiful Agony’s blog.


“Written/Produced by Bette Bentley. Directed by Vincent Peone and Bette Bentley. Piss is a short film about a girl trying to convince her feminist boyfriend to pee on her. Official selection of the Miami Short Film Festival and Austin Gay and Lesbian Film Festival and Cinekink Film Festival.”

I found this really adorable, funny, realisitic and I very much related to the scenario. As someone who gets sexual kicks out of the idea of being degraded, I have often wanted to explore this. However, it hasn’t always been easy for previous boyfriends who are taught that good, feminist men don’t degrade women.

And you know what? Good, feminist men don’t degrade women. However, if their partner asks them to “degrade” them in a playful, sexual, consensual context that is an entirely different ballgame. The reason I put that “degrade” in quotes this time is because when you’re consensually degrading someone… what you’re really doing is gifting them with something very special: sexual pleasure and self acceptance.

I believe that to acknowledge and accept a woman’s sexual desires instead of pathologizing them is a hugely feminist act. It allows her a much greater deal of comfort and understanding of her own sexuality and in a world that denies women the right to sexual autonomy, isn’t that ultimately a positive thing?



Small Update
May 11, 2011, 4:22 pm
Filed under: Feminism, Sex | Tags: ,

Unfortunately, this blog is still quite dead. Though my enthusiasm has not vanished, I’m still having to limit the use of my hands somewhat and unfortunately, drawing takes priority over writing and I’m really not getting into that voice recognition software. I hope to get back into the swing of things eventually but it’s just not going to be soon.

Bah and humbug. On a brighter note, have some links!

How Not To Rape People: A Handy Guide For Modern Men and Footballers

and

Phone Sex Grandma

That’s all for now, folks.



Resigned and Face
February 7, 2011, 9:12 am
Filed under: Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , , ,

Ok, I’m still not writing much right now as I’m still recovering from my wrist problems which, as it turns out, are tendonitis and mild carpal tunnel. However, I want to make a few small updates.

First of all, after almost two years working as a video editor for “ethical erotica” producers, Feck, I have resigned. Despite some issues, I had a good run there. I learned a lot of valuable skills from some very talented ladies, not to mention had my views on sexuality, porn specifically, expanded and made far more complex.

Perhaps I will write about this someday when I am a bit less in the midst of it and can get my thoughts straight. But, ultimately, I am grateful to have been part of such an unconventional workplace and to have met the amazing people that work there. By working for Feck, I feel like I was peripherally part of something historically important that will influence a whole new generation of ethical, thoughtful, artistic pornographers. Or something.

I still intend to continue with this blog and to participate in the online world of sex positive, feminist ramblings and porn making in whatever capacity I can. Exactly how this will all play out, I am currently unsure.

In other news, if you’re living in Australia, tune into ABC1 this Tuesday at 10:05PM for Face (otherwise I believe the film will be available for online viewing at a later date). Directed by one of my former workmates, Face is a documentary about Feck’s Beautiful Agony project which was founded by the talented and awesome, Lauren Olney (who I hope doesn’t mind me pimping her blog here! Her photography is intimidatingly excellent!)

“Face is a kaleidoscopic documentary – a singular portrait made up of many faces – which delves into the private and public worlds of everyday human sexuality. The focus is on the people involved in Beautiful Agony, an ever-expanding collaborative art project that collates self-portraiture video recordings of orgasm faces. (…)

Face allows the audience a voyeuristic glimpse into the lives of people who have consciously chosen to push their personal boundaries and share that experience with others. It is a thought provoking study that delicately unfolds the layers of this enigmatic subject and invites the audience to consider their own place in the picture.”

Sounds awesome, eh? From the article here.

The show will be followed by a live web chat for one hour from 10.30pm here. Should be good!

Edit: Ok, no more updates for a few more weeks, all that typing is causing pain again. Yowza.

Edit Again! Turns out a certain somebody’s face (Mine! Duh!)  is going to appear in a re-edited version of the doco. I’ll let y’all know if it becomes available online.



Cornflake Wank and Poetry – Very NSFW
January 3, 2011, 12:07 am
Filed under: Art, Feminism, Porn, Sex | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

This is possibly the most explicit thing I’ve posted here yet and was actually a quick submission I made for a zine.  I don’t know if I really like it but I thought I’d put it out there as this blog is a little inactive while I’m working on stuff for this project and entertaining my mother while she’s visiting from overseas. It’s pretty confronting to put this sort of thing up on the internet for a myriad of reasons – from fear of slut stigma, unwanted creepy attention, to fear of being viewed as “gross” or simply an attention hog. Still, I try never to let those things stop me from doing stuff so here goes.

 

While I’m randomly sharing stuff, here’s a “poem” of sorts that I wrote awhile back about my first (and currently only, though hopefully that won’t be a forever thing!) sexual encounter with another woman.  I am not, by any means, a poet but sometimes I like to play with words and I thought this was… well, not great but OK.  It’s been sitting around on my computer for yonks so I figured I’d finally share it.

Girl/Girl

It’s

pretty seedy
small town
really

her 21st and
this is my first
vodka and coke

now she’s
holding my hair my
head in the toilet

classy

and later

in bed
best friends
I miss him but
I kiss her and

I taste I touch

her soft her curved
her mild wet warm
her open gentle

my drunk

I fall asleep

fuck.

So yeah, I’m pretty lame. Didn’t hold my alcohol well back then and I still don’t now!



Sigh Five

Here’s a brand spanking new project that I’ve been busy working on with my partner…

Sigh Five

Sigh Five will mostly consist of comics, but we have other things planned as well. It’s very exciting, I’ve always wanted to make comics and have decided to dedicate this year to pursuing that dream. I’m not too good at this yet, but I already see myself improving after making only ten short comics.

So head on over to the site and if you like us, leave us some comments and spread the word! It’s not safe for work, by the way, with adult content and juvenile humour.




Little Taiko Boy
December 23, 2010, 9:19 pm
Filed under: Art, Sex | Tags: , , , , ,

Here’s the description from the person who posted the video:

“Little Taiko Boy combines Western holiday traditions, Shinto mythology and Japanese gay culture to advocate a very different way of wrapping gifts for a loved one.

Little Taiko Boy’s soundtrack is a safer-sex parody of the American Christmas carol “The Little Drummer Boy” interspersed with the slow rumble of a traditional Japanese taiko drum that sounds like a massive throbbing heart beat. Against this backdrop, several men meet in Tokyo’s bathhouses, love hotels and cruising spots for intimate encounters, watched over by a glamorous drag version of Amaterasu Omikami, the Shinto goddess of the Sun played by Japanese activist and artist MADAME BONJOUR JOHNJ. Like a queer Santa Claus, the goddess leaves each couple a condom in a bejeweled wrapper as a gift and blessing for the night.”

That video is the coolest thing I’ve seen in ages and I have to admit, I found it incredibly hot. I love that it’s this smart, funny, creative and colourful film that promotes safe sex in a fun and sexy way.